I was Married, fit in my mid 30s living a happy fulfilling life. We brought a son into the world a few years into our marriage, the beginning of a family, with the normal expectations attached. 

The birth of our son was straight forward, he was delivered without issue or incident, and before us was our son Thomas, perfect in every inch of the word, our healthy, vibrant little angel.

For what life threw us two and a half years later my wife and I were ill prepared. What would transpire over the coming months, would shape, and alter our lives for ever. A shift I was not prepared for mentally, physically, spiritually, or emotionally. 

At the age of two and a half Thomas regressed, this regression was what became known to us as autism. Prior to this regression, Thomas was meeting all the usual milestones of toddler progression, from walking to speech. All the usual things you would expect to see from a healthy little boy of this age. 

From this point the regression intensified and his once apt skills degenerated. He began to lose his ability to speak, his eye contact was far less evident, and Thomas’s stimming’s were more pronounced with everyday activity.

A day that will forever resonate with me was the day I took Thomas to be medically assessed for autism. Our lives from that day forward would change course in a way we could have never foreseen.

We walked into that hospital as a happy, carefree family, and after a few short hours we left as a family with autism. This clinical diagnosis of Thomas would then set the tone for the most challenging period of our lives.  

The verbal advice we were given will remain etched in my memory. “You thought you were travelling to Italy, but now you will have to visit somewhere else, you have to get used to this”.  All the emphasis and, verbal information given was solely pertaining to Thomas and his newly diagnosed autism. The lack of explanation for the family members, and subsequent paucity of assistance was something that left us unsure, upset, misguided, and scared of which path to walk down next. 

The message was clear Thomas is unwell take this diagnosis home and survive. Just surviving however is far from good enough.

From that day our lives spiralled, our mental health suffered, our financial standing, the stress, anxiety and not knowing how to help our son was enough to eventually see us separate. The family unit broke down, I wallowed in self-pity, and continued a downward trajectory as I did not know what to do to remedy both myself and my afflicted son Thomas, my beautiful little boy.  The denial ensnares your senses and trying to heal seems so distant and out of grasp.  Many of these points may well have been averted had proper assistance and awareness been rendered. 

I am here today as a survivor, through a culmination of luck and support from various resources, I managed to get through, still riddled with imperfection, but motivated with hope for a more assisted future. Thomas now 17, is still in my care and our bond has grown together, as our fates have intertwined us, and we walk this journey hand in hand. 

My intention is to raise awareness, to assist and aid the parents, grandparents, siblings, and friends dealing with this trauma.  Raising societal awareness, through actively involving these individuals in programs such as exercise to facilitate better mental health. To be a beacon where no other light can be seen, a road where no other path can be found and a triumph where no hope can be garnered. This is what I offer to be strong for you so you can be strong for you family member that is afflicted. 

My aim is to create a cycle of ever improving mental and physical well-being for families so that they may relinquish trauma and grow together.  I wish to empower the individual family members and extended family. I want them to realise, through affirmation and self-care that they are amazing selfless individuals, that need to be acknowledged and supported. The broader community needs to validate their efforts and see they are the real superheroes of the story. 

Their unwavering commitment, and perseverance to aiding one in need is something to be commended and rewarded. 

There are many others on the same life journey, caring for individuals with a disability, and to know that I can make even a small difference is the reason why Sunny Disability Care was founded.

Please join me on our journey to promote our intention of awareness and help with this silent strain.

Paul and Thomas